I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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