Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
