Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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