Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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