I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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