I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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