u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
