i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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