we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
