The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
