hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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