Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
