I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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