M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
