I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
my liver is dry heaving
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
