Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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