Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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