Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
