so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
