Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
