It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
