just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
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We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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