i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
