If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
