Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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