She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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