are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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