doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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