weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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