just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
