is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize