Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

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(757): View more from Virginia

We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.

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(517): View more from Michigan

at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

Exactly, what could possibly go wrong

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