I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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