Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
