White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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