She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
