I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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