You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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