In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
