her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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