They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
