I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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