can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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