I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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