Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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