there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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