You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
