no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
smell my finger.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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