I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
