you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
