I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
