The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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