so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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