Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
