thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
