I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
