Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
