yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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