member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
