this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
