i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
