I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
