just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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