Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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