I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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