paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
